The Iowan Pizza Chronicles: Attempt #25

The Venue

4444 1st Ave NE #454

Cedar Rapids, IA 52402

(319) 365-4265

The Venue (Outside)

Cranky Hank’s has been in Lindale Mall for nearly five years, sitting in the ground level by the parking ramp. At one time, it was a Happy Joe’s restaurant in that location, and luckily it is still a pizza place today. Inside, it reminds you of a typical Happy Joe's restaurant, with arcade games off to the side, a bar area for beer and mixed drinks, a salad bar area in the center of the sitting area, and a sectioned off part that looks like it used to be its own room at one time (perhaps?). The music playing at the restaurant is a plus, as two participants in our group commented positively because we were fortunate in hearing some inspiring lively, upbeat hits. As far as specials go, Tuesdays specials are buy a large, get a small pizza half price. Sadly we “forgot” about this special when we ordered so we did not partake. You can take a peek at their menu at: http://www.crankyhanks.com/Pages/Menu.aspx.

The Venue (Inside Bar Area)

Large (16"), Hank Bread ($9.75)

The Pizza

Chicago Style: Yes

Crust Thickness: Average (all but Deep Dish’s Rim, that was Thick)

Large (12"), Deep Dish, The Hot Head ($20.95)

Large (12"), Deep Dish, The Bellyacher ($20.95)

Large (16"), Taco ($21.95)

Our group consisted of 7 participants; so we ordered four large specialty pizzas, and one order of Hank Bread. Cranky Hanks has two types of crusts, normal and deep dish. The deep dish’s maximum size was 12”, whereas the normal crust maximum size was 16”. Each pizza cost us around $21. They come in large, circular hand-formed crusts.

Taco – Seasoned meat, chips, lettuce, fresh tomatoes, mozzarella, and cheddar cheese. We had asked to have it served with Taco sauce (you may have to ask for this). (Large Normal Crust [16”], $21.95)

Meatlovers – Canadian bacon, sausage, pepperoni, bacon, mozzarella, and cheddar cheese. (Large Normal Crust [16”], $21.95)

The Hot Head – Sausage, jalapeños, onions, fresh tomatoes, mozzarella and cheddar cheese. (Large Deep Dish [12”], $20.95)

The Bellyacher – Sausage, pepperoni, Canadian bacon, mushrooms, green peppers, onions, mozzarella and cheddar cheese. (Large Deep Dish [12”], $20.95)

Hank Bread – Crust, mozzarella cheese, severed with marinara sauce on the side to dip the pizza strips into. (Large Normal Crust [16”], $9.75)

The Verdict

The taco, hot head, and bellyacher pizzas were cut into triangular slices, with the meatlovers being cut into very large rectangular slices. The crust was comments by many to be very thick, bready, and delicious on our normal pizzas. Both deep dishes were very disappointing because given the weight of the toppings, the crust appeared thinner (than the normal pizza’s crust), and much greasier than the normal pizzas from the cheese…only the rims contained thick, bready goodness. Additionally, the Meatlovers, Hot Head, and Bellacher appeared to have a large amount of seasoned ground beef between the sauce and the cheese. This reminded some of Leonardo’s. If you enjoy a lot of meat on your pizza, you should be in bliss because of this fact (the Bellyacher contained the most). I did not notice any spiciness on the Hot Head since the cheese takes away the excess heat. The sauce was sweet and sparse, and the cheese was plentiful. Additionally we ordered the Hank Bread, with was a 16” Cheese Pizza with the sauce on the side (commonly called Cheese Fries in Wisconsin). That was an excellent appetizer, some would even consider it to be a cost-effective replacement for a pizza (since it only costs $9.75). The Taco was the best pizza was ate, a balanced set of toppings, with a thick crust that could hold the heap load of toppings, cheese, and taco sauce (which were served to us as packets from Heinz). Based off our experience, I would order the Taco and the Hank Bread again.